When Work Doesn't Feel Quite Right

6 minute read


Career Insight | When Work Doesn’t Feel Quite Right | Image by Vanishing Point Images | Unsplash | Converted to monochrome by Waypoint Careers

Sometimes the first step isn't changing something. It's understanding why it isn't working.

It's the evening before you return to work. You've enjoyed your days off, but tomorrow is already on your mind.

Perhaps there's nothing dramatically wrong with your job. You just know something doesn't feel quite right.

Maybe you're thinking about the problems waiting for you, a difficult conversation or responsibilities that no longer interest you.

Perhaps you're sleeping poorly, feeling irritable or finding it harder to switch off.

Of course, not wanting your days off to end doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with your job.

But if that reluctance is becoming familiar, or your unhappiness is beginning to follow you home, perhaps it's worth asking why.

Not necessarily, What other job could I do?

But something more immediate.

What exactly is making me unhappy?

When dissatisfaction becomes familiar

Sometimes we recognise that something isn't right long before we're prepared to do anything about it.

A role that once challenged us becomes repetitive. Opportunities to develop disappear. Workplace relationships change. Responsibilities increase without greater influence over decisions.

Or perhaps the work hasn't changed very much at all. Our priorities have.

We might tell ourselves that every workplace has its problems, that we should be grateful for a secure job or that things will eventually improve.

Sometimes that's reasonable.

But sometimes we simply become accustomed to circumstances that no longer suit us.

I know something about that.

I thought I'd probably stay

Early in my hospitality career, I'd progressed from casually collecting glasses to Duty Manager in about five years.

I was recently married, we'd bought our first home and life was settling into a familiar pattern.

Professionally, though, I was becoming frustrated. I enjoyed hospitality and management, but felt the Board's influence was restricting opportunities to introduce improvements.

I suspected I'd reached the limits of what I could achieve in that workplace.

Was I planning to leave? No. I'd quietly accepted that things probably wouldn't change.

Then, while visiting my seriously ill mother-in-law, I caught up with a former boss who mentioned a Duty Manager vacancy at his venue, about 1,000 kilometres from home.

I applied, partly reassuring myself that I probably wouldn't get the job. Yet I prepared thoroughly.

And I got it.

My wife was enthusiastic, particularly about being closer to her mother. I was excited but frightened about leaving everything familiar.

What if I failed? How would I judge myself if we had to return?

We made the move, and it eventually opened further management opportunities.

Looking back, what interests me isn't the outcome. It's that I'd recognised my dissatisfaction but hadn't really examined it. An unexpected opportunity made me reconsider what I'd been prepared to accept.

What exactly is bothering you?

Imagine someone saying:

"I'm bored with my job. I think I need a career change."

That's a starting point, but it doesn't tell us very much.

What does bored mean?

Is the work repetitive? Have they stopped learning? Do they feel their abilities aren't being used? Or have they simply lost interest in the occupation?

Each possibility suggests a different conversation.

Perhaps someone else says they're exhausted.

Is it the physical demands of their work? The hours? Difficult workplace relationships? The emotional demands of dealing with people?

Or are pressures outside work contributing to how they're feeling?

We also need to ask what still works.

Someone might be frustrated with their employer but still love their occupation. Another person might enjoy supportive colleagues and good working conditions yet feel increasingly disconnected from the work itself.

The distinction matters.

Changing employers won't necessarily resolve dissatisfaction with an occupation. Equally, retraining for an entirely different career might be unnecessary if the real difficulty lies with a particular workplace.

The aim isn't to talk someone into staying or leaving.

It's to understand what they're actually trying to change.

Work is only part of the picture

Our career decisions rarely exist separately from the rest of our lives.

Australian career development researchers Wendy Patton and Mary McMahon developed the Systems Theory Framework, which recognises that career development is influenced by interacting personal, social and environmental factors.

Our interests, values, relationships, health, responsibilities and opportunities can all affect what we want from work and what choices feel possible.

In my own experience, the opportunity wasn't simply about moving to another management position.

It was also about family, professional development, security, familiarity and how I saw myself.

And those priorities don't necessarily remain the same throughout our working lives.

A role that suited us ten years ago may not suit our circumstances today.

That's worth considering before deciding that dissatisfaction means we're in the wrong career.

Deal breakers, deal makers and negotiables

When I'm helping someone explore career uncertainty, I'm not searching for a perfect job.

I'm not convinced there is one.

Every role, workplace and career involves some compromises.

What matters is understanding which compromises we're comfortable making, which we're not, and what might make an opportunity worthwhile.

I find three categories useful.

Deal breakers

What are you no longer prepared to accept?

Perhaps it's an unhealthy workplace culture, unpredictable hours, limited development opportunities or expectations that conflict with your values.

What would make you hesitate before accepting another role, regardless of its other attractions?

Deal makers

What would make work genuinely worthwhile?

It might be supportive colleagues, independence, opportunities to learn, meaningful responsibilities, financial security or flexibility for family commitments.

Some of these things may already exist in your current work. They're worth recognising and preserving.

Negotiables

Where could you compromise?

Would you consider a longer commute for more satisfying responsibilities? Less seniority for an opportunity to learn? A different salary in exchange for greater flexibility?

Something negotiable today might become essential in another stage of life.

And it's perfectly reasonable not to know all the answers yet.

These categories aren't a test with right or wrong responses. They're simply a way of beginning to understand what matters.


You don't need to know what you want to do next to start understanding what's no longer working now.


Don't overlook what still works

When we're unhappy, it's easy to concentrate entirely on what's wrong.

But consider another question:

What would I miss if I left?

Perhaps you still enjoy helping customers, solving problems, mentoring colleagues or working with your hands.

Maybe you value the independence, stability or friendships your current job provides.

Understanding what you want to preserve can be just as valuable as identifying what you want to leave behind.

You might discover that you don't need an entirely new career.

Perhaps you need a different employer, more suitable working arrangements, opportunities to develop or a conversation about your responsibilities.

Or you may find that a more substantial change is worth exploring.

The important thing is not to assume you know the solution before you've understood the problem.

Before you decide what comes next

Perhaps you've been putting up with something at work for longer than you'd like to admit.

Or perhaps you've only recently started questioning whether your current role still suits you.

Either way, you don't have to arrive at an answer today.

Start by being curious about what you're feeling.

What is making work difficult? What still gives you satisfaction? What would you want to preserve, and what are you no longer prepared to accept?

You might discover that a conversation with your manager could improve things. You might realise another workplace would suit you better. Or you might begin considering a different career altogether.

You may also discover that you need more information before deciding anything.

That's useful too.

And if dissatisfaction persistently affects your sleep, relationships, or health, it's worth taking those concerns seriously and seeking appropriate support.

Career decisions don't have to begin with dramatic action.

Sometimes they begin with a more honest conversation.

Perhaps that's a better place to begin than waiting until you've simply had enough.

At Waypoint Careers, I help people explore career uncertainty and transition. If something about your working life isn't sitting comfortably but you're unsure why, we can work through the questions together.

You don't need to arrive with a career plan or a particular destination in mind.


Reflection

What isn't feeling quite right about work?

Think about your current job and ask yourself:

What is bothering me most?

Is it the work itself, the workplace, the people, the conditions or something outside work?

What would I miss if I left?

Consider the parts of your work that still give you satisfaction.

What is a deal breaker, a deal maker or negotiable?

You don't need to decide what to do next.

For now, just notice what your answers are telling you.


Source & Acknowledgement

This article draws on the Systems Theory Framework of career development developed by Australian researchers Wendy Patton and Mary McMahon. Their work recognises that personal circumstances, relationships, work environments, and changing priorities influence career decisions.

The framework has also been applied to career counselling, helping people reflect on their experiences and better understand the influences shaping their career decisions.

For readers interested in the research behind this approach:

The Systems Theory Framework of career development: Applications to career counselling and career assessment (McMahon, Watson & Patton, 2015).

Next
Next

Self-belief is stronger when it's built on your own evidence